Friday, September 1, 2006

Funny church bloopers and signs

Please place your donation in the envelope along with the deceased person(s) you want remembered.

Scouts are saving aluminum cans, bottles, and other items to be recycled. Proceeds will be used to cripple children.

Ushers will eat latecomers.

For those of you who have children and don't know it, we have a nursery downstairs.

The pastor will preach his farewell message, after which the choir will sing, "Break Forth Into Joy."

Next Sunday Mrs. Vinson will be soloist for the morning service. The pastor will then speak on "It's a Terrible Experience."

The ladies of the church have cast off clothing of every kind. They can be seen in the church basement Saturday.

An ad for a Church has a picture of two hands holding stone tablets on which the Ten Commandments are inscribed and a headline that reads, "For fast, fast, fast relief, take two tablets.

Have trouble sleeping? We have sermons -- come hear one!

Don't let worry kill you--let the church help.

Tuesday at 4:00 P.M. there will be an ice cream social. All ladies giving milk will please come early.
Thursday at 5:00 PM there will be a meeting of the Little Mother's Club. All ladies wishing to become "Little Mothers" will meet with the Pastor in his study.

This being Easter Sunday, we will ask Mrs. Lewis to come forward and lay an egg on the altar.

God so loved the world that He did not send a committee.

---enjoy :)

1 comment:

Emmanuel Barrios said...

Hey Kit, this post really made me laugh!

I like your blog; it's a nice refreshing break from all the sex, darkness, and squalor that I wade through every time I surf the Web... our blogs actually have contradicting styles, but I like visiting this site once in a while to take a breather, you know...

Keep it up and have a really good year for 2007!!!